The day before my mother’s murder, then and now.

June 15, 2006

I woke up, got dressed. I think I wore a blue sparkly tank top from Target with a white skirt. I went to my cousin’s middle school graduation. My cousin’s and I were super close at that time, they were always over at my house and I used to take my little cousin to school each morning in my mustang convertible. It was a celebratory time, as graduations usually are.  My mom was mad that she couldn’t attend because of work, but she had the next day, Friday, off of work to go to her brother’s graduation. We went to lunch, I think it was at Islands but I can’t remember for sure. Then we went to see Cars in the theatre. Continue reading “The day before my mother’s murder, then and now.”

My Astrology Reading + a GIVEAWAY, yay!

astrology1I’ve been interested in astrology for a very long time. Mostly just me reading my weekly horoscope, looking up zodiac compatibility, or laughing over my typical Leo traits. When I started seeing people talking about their birth charts and moon/sun/rising signs (seems like it’s happening more and more these days, or maybe I’m just starting to notice the rise in popularity), I tried to google my own and kept getting confused by all the information.

The last few years of my healing journey, I’ve been open to basically anything that helps me better understand myself, so this was right up my alley. Thankfully, Natha and I followed each other on Instagram and started to talk about a reading. Continue reading “My Astrology Reading + a GIVEAWAY, yay!”

Mental Health Diaries: Safe Spaces

Safe Spaces Part 1: They don’t exist

Content Warning: trauma, murder, vivid descriptions of mental health/illness, suicidal ideation

I witnessed my mothers murder in 2006. I was also stabbed during the break-in. It was the worst night of my life, as you could have guessed. This one night, one event, one hour of my life, changed every single thing. It has managed to affect it all in some way, great or small. I feel like before I begin any story about this, I have to go back in detail about the crime itself. I know, though, that I cannot each time. Today I want to tell you- or show you, rather- about safe spaces, how I rejected them, and how I learned to find them once more after developing PTSD. Continue reading “Mental Health Diaries: Safe Spaces”

It’s a wrap- February 2018 wrap up

FEBWRAP1HOT DAMN, February flew right by!

February Core Desired Feelings:

  • Stable
  • Creative
  • Ready
  • Loved
    I’m not sure why I put “ready”. Wish I’d elaborated more on this in my journal on the 1st, but alas I did not. I guess I must have meant ready to resume life again after the hell that was January.

Did I achieve these feelings?

YES. This month I really got my groove back!

Continue reading “It’s a wrap- February 2018 wrap up”

All the ways I’ve lost my voice

All the ways I’ve lost my voice…
a.k.a WHY IS IT SO GOD DAMN HARD FOR ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF?

bringmeflowers2

I started this blog to be my safe space for creativity. Everywhere I go there are rules and expectations. ‘Sell this, write this way, talk about this…’ and I rebel against it all. Sometimes I just want to type my thoughts and hit publish, no editing. Leave the fucking spelling mistakes. The bad grammar. The way I repeat myself too often or talk in circles. The beautiful chaos of my mind… just let it be. Yet I still have a hard time coming here and writing. I feel blocked. I have felt this way for a long while now.

Continue reading “All the ways I’ve lost my voice”