I’ve been interested in astrology for a very long time. Mostly just me reading my weekly horoscope, looking up zodiac compatibility, or laughing over my typical Leo traits. When I started seeing people talking about their birth charts and moon/sun/rising signs (seems like it’s happening more and more these days, or maybe I’m just starting to notice the rise in popularity), I tried to google my own and kept getting confused by all the information.
The last few years of my healing journey, I’ve been open to basically anything that helps me better understand myself, so this was right up my alley. Thankfully, Natha and I followed each other on Instagram and started to talk about a reading.
There’s so much more to it than your one sun sign and reading a horoscope in a magazine. I’m no expert and struggle to explain it all, so I’ll leave that to Natha, but here are some of my favorite takeaways from my reading. All of this information is from my notes as I was hearing her go over my chart.
- A huge chunk of my chart is in LEO. Fire, drama, center stage. I’m like a big cat, truly.
I am a shy, submissive kitten for the most part. At first. But people who are really close to me know how accurate the fire and drama can be, I can transform from kitten to lioness in the snap of my fingers. I don’t always need to have the center stage of a huge crowd (although sometimes I do!), but I need the center stage of those closest to me.
2. Emotions are central to my life.
Emotions show up in every part of my life, and I appreciate attention. Yep, and yep! Emotions? I got a lot of them. Attention? I NEED IT ALL. We also went over how I need predictability to feel safe, and this is so very true especially in this area of my life. It’s something I only recently became aware of. I didn’t know it was a need, so I didn’t know how to ask for it which caused a lot of anxiety and insecurity in the past.
3. My life’s purpose is to break the chains of pain in my family.
This is where the reading got pretty heavy, as we talked about these things back and forth I cried talking about my mom’s murder, and how she died with so much want inside of her. We are people pleasers, and there are several unhealthy beliefs we need to let go of. I don’t want to die with my wants inside of me like she did, but I struggle with how to balance my needs and wants vs. living in harmony with people and ideals that no longer serve me. I’ve felt like the black sheep in so many ways- from coming out, to my lifestyle, to my job. Natha reminded me that by living out loud, I am throwing a wrench in those harmful beliefs and cycles we have lived in. Even when I can’t see it, even when I feel like a failure. I have always felt this deep down inside which is why I haven’t quit. The job, the journey, the oversharing. There is a reason. This is helping. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago a distant relative messaged me to tell me how much I’ve helped just from witnessing my journey afar. ❤
4. My primal wound that resurfaces, again and again, is around not being seen, heard and understood.
Ahhh, yes. Hits the nail right on the head. It’s a cycle of seeking and needing so much attention and validation to combat this, but then feeling guilty and wrong. Because of this wound, I don’t feel worthy of being seen, heard, and understood, and as a result, I struggle with listening to my intuition. Taking on the feelings of others around me and getting rid of my own has been easier than doing the work around this, and Natha left me with this wonderful nugget of wisdom “Be aware of where you’re handing over your power.”
5. PTSD has served a purpose in my life. It has given me a hard boundary.
I had this highlighted and circled in my notebook because it is SO true, and something I’ve struggled to put into words. I have written about how death has given me many gifts over on my patreon, and to say that these horrible events of my life have helped me in any way feels utterly wrong. But it is the truth in this specific instance. The way that I advocate for myself and my needs in regards to my trauma can, at times, be quite wonderful. Partners and friends admire it about me and have told me it helps them. I learned to say a firm no, I know what triggers me, I know what I need in this one area of my life. People have allowed me the space to do so because they feel bad about my trauma, they are forced to accept it. Because I know this, I know that I can assert boundaries in other areas of my life as well. I don’t always need the permission of others (working on that!), I know it is possible.
We ended with a timeline of my year and some things I can do to work on healing. Natha sent me a recording of our session, as well as all the handouts I need to go back through everything. When we ended our zoom call I felt calm and peaceful. Heard, seen, validated (my favorite!) She was so sweet and easy to open up to. She felt like a friend I’d known for years.
I now understand that each person’s chart is extremely specific, as mine was, and that astrology isn’t just the same generic BS we hear repeated, there’s a lot more to it than just my sun sign in Leo. Our solar system and our universe have an effect on us, you can learn astrology even if you don’t believe in it. To me, it is a tool that helps me understand myself and my relationships. I hope that sharing my astrology reading has been helpful and that you will check out Natha Perkins Campanella Intuitive Council and Astrology.