Clarity & Intention- Hello 2018

What better way to ring in the New Year & release my blog than with some good old clarity and intention setting. Last year was rough for pretty much everyone I know, but even despite the chaos, there were plenty of learning and growing moments that I am {mostly} thankful for.

I am answering the questions from “Seven Questions to End 2017 with Clarity and Start 2018 with Intention” by Courtney E. Martin. Every year I swear that I won’t make resolutions, but these questions can’t hurt, right?

1. What was one of the moments I was most proud of this year?
 What does that tell me about what I want to spend my energy/time/money on next year?
I was most proud of the day we re-launched May 26, 2017, to be exact. In 2016 I went from full-time teaching, to part-time, to finally quitting all together at the end of the year with hopes of being a full-time blogger and podcaster. There was some trauma I had to work through just to be able to publish a post on TBYS {which I will get into later!}, and on the day of our re-launch, I posted a link to something I wrote about polyamory for the world to see. More importantly, for my family to see. I’m sure they were curious what I would be doing after quitting my 11-year career, and many of them were already scratching their heads when I started posting revealing selfies on Instagram. After that day, not only did they know I was now a sex blogger, but that me and my partner K, were polyamorous.

This tells me that I want to spend my time, energy and money {the little I do have!} on focusing more on writing & other creative outlets for myself. Also, to stay true to me, and not hide out because I’m worried what family or old judgmental friends may think.

2. Who really enriched my life this year in a big way? Who is someone I am wanting to get to know better in the year ahead?
I am lucky to have so many creative friends who have encouraged and inspired me in 2017. I still struggle to find my voice after years of pushing it down so far, but I would not be where I am today without these humans. Thank you: Tanya, Sex Coach Leigh, Janet, Katie Speak, Dick Wound, and Kristel Penn. All bad-ass creators who helped me put one foot in front of the other or told me not to give up.

I’d love to get to know more sex & death positive babes this year! Let’s collaborate!

3. It was a year of resistance for many people. What did I resist most effectively? What did I surrender to?
Just like the original poster, these both flowed the same for me. I resisted and surrendered to accepting myself as I am. Swallowed some very hard pills this year in regards to the privileges I have, the ways I was raised, and how to use this for positive change and growth. I also definitely resisted the urge to bury myself away from the world & news because of how terrifying it all is… so cheers to making it through!

4. Who did I feel most jealous of this year? What is that person up to that I want to bring more of into my own life?
I felt most jealous of established sex bloggers, especially those who mainly do toy reviews. Maybe because I am not a huge fan of toys, but I want to be? Or maybe because it seems that they have a good system going? Either way, I’ve struggled with feeling like an imposter- who the fuck gave me permission to write about sex or relationships? Am I less valid because I don’t do the same thing? I have to keep reminding myself my voice is necessary even if I don’t know everyone at the conference or get excited about dildos.

What do they have that I want to bring into my life? A blogging routine, a steady readership, and income from their blog.

5. When was I most physically joyful in 2017? How can I get there more in 2018?
I am most physically joyful after cuddling my partner or having an orgasm. This is interesting because I haven’t considered myself to be very into touch or sex this year {WHAT? I know, right?} But just a reminder that I do need to do more of this, and that for me, it takes some work. Make the time, set the intention, stick with it. My body thanks me afterward. Toward the end of the year, I also started to feel release from dancing in my room, and doing yoga. Excited to do more of these this year!

6. What is one question that you found yourself asking over and over again this year? What version of an answer are you living your way into?
I’ve mentioned my questions already, but to repeat… because they keep coming back, over and over again… “Is my voice valid? Is it needed?” and basically, some form of “am I good/smart/kinky/poly/creative/etc enough to do _xyz_?” The answer is YES… and I am consciously and purposefully aligning myself with that answer. One of the ways, which I am practicing here and now, is to not limit myself. Write the damn post. Just do it! There is no right way to be all the things.

7. What makes me despair and what gives me hope right now?
Our administration gives me great despair. Every day I’m waking up to headlines and wondering if we’re on a reality TV show and this is all a bad joke. This has been on loop since last November, but what gives me hope is how many of us have been forced to wake up. Many folks are paying attention and making their voices heard. We are powerful together, and each day I am seeing kindness and gentleness as we uncover and heal past wounds together.


Photos from my New Years Eve!

Happy New Year! Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed my musings please like, follow & share!




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